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Still feeling like shit

I've tapered down to 4) 5 mg percocet a day - maybe 5) if you count in the middle of the night. Now I know why people go away for 90 days. I can hardly make it as it is. I know that the whole next month will be a nightmare for me. Not to mention I'm premenstrual so will probably feel even WORSE. I've been crying all day. My lower back hurts. I have to schlep two blocks to work with heavy bags. My muscles ache and I was REALLY HOPING I would have an e-mail from the doctor but no sadly. I should have gone to a meeting last night but instead I just argued with BF who wants to "have sex" before I leave for the weekend (which he won't shut up about how he wishes he could go and it's bad timing on my part and he doesn't want to be left high and dry and he wants to get loaded while I'm gone meaning he STILL doesn't get it...) He forgets that the copious amount of drugs he's been loading into his system has rendered him completely IMPOTENT and forget about libido. The thought of it makes me feel like being raped while in an alcoholic stupor. Ya, that's how much it appeals.

My shirt sleeves smell like the dinner I cooked a few nights ago and I want to puke. Ha! I wonder if they would smell any better with Michael Kors perfume all over, I doubt it.

I've been using Ativan to put me to sleep at night.

CPH asked why I was crying today. He felt like I was leaving him out by not telling him. as IF I even know. The only thing I know is that I shouldn't have had to walk home in the freezing snow with no mittens and no parents.

Intense stomach cramps again. I already took one IMM which is a joke because I don't have diarrhea but it's supposed to stop the cramps.

I can't wait until Friday


opitates, recovery, detox

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March 2011